TopiX History Files: Who are the Stonecutters?

Hello Tappers!

The Stonecutters update has arrived! But who are the Stonecutters? When did they appear and why are they so SECRET?! Well hopefully by the end of this post you should have a full guide on the history of the Stonecutters from the episode they featured in ‘Homer the Great’.

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Before I start getting into the episode of the Stonecutters let me tell you a little bit about them. The Stonecutters is a secret, ancient organization in Springfield, that features members from citizens around Springfield along with their leader ‘Number One’! The Stonecutters are based on The Freemasons. Some aspects of the Stonecutters seem similar to the Freemasons while other aspects are either myths or just a load of nonsense. All Stonecutters are given a number, the lower the number you are the higher the status you have over the higher numbers.

Example: Lenny and Carl are No. 12 and No. 14, while Mr. Burns is No. 29. Even though Mr. Burns has a higher rank over Lenny and Carl at work, in the Stonecutters Lenny and Car have a higher rank over Mr. Burns! 

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The Stonecutters meet on Wednesday nights in a large headquarters, and their activities mostly involve drinking beer and playing games. There are only two ways you can become a Stonecutter. Be the son of a Stonecutter or save a life of a Stonecutter. Being a Stonecutter brings many privileges to life which include: Exclusive roads, better parking, comfy chairs, free soft drinks, and swift house repairs. Stonecutters event have their own private number to call in case of an emergency. Instead of calling 911, they call 912 which provides a faster and better service. There are many members from Springfield that are Stonecutters and all are men being ALL male society. Some of the Stonecutters are listed below:

  • Number One
  • Homer Simpson (No.908, Former Stonecutter)
  • Lenny and Carl (No. 12 and No. 14)
  • Mr. Burns (No. 29)
  • Dr. Hibbert
  • Smithers
  • Moe
  • Chief Wiggum
  • Skinner
  • Krusty the Clown…

Along with many more. If you want to find out any more information about the Stonecutters and their members then check out the Simpsons wiki page which can be found here. Now onto the episode itself, Homer the Great!:

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The Stonecutters made their first and only appearance in the show during the episode ‘Homer the Great’ which was apart of Season 6, Episode 12. The episode starts off with Marge and Homer standing in their flooded basement with the plumber. The plumber tells Homer and Marge that it won’t be fixed for weeks and then pretending to take an emergency call to get out of the house.

Homer notices that his colleagues Lenny and Carl are enjoying inexplicable privileges such as free soft drinks, massage chairs, and great parking spots at the Springfield Nuclear Power Plant. Homer also begins to notice that Lenny and Carl are never free on a Wednesday night. So he decides to spy on them to see where they go. He discovers they are part of an ancient secret society known as the Stonecutters. Homer desperately wanted to become apart of the group, however he is saddened when he learns he must either save the life of a Stonecutter or be the son of a Stonecutter.

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Homer tells Marge how badly he wants to be a Stonecutter due to being excluded from clubs when he was a child. While extolling the Stonecutters at the dinner table, he discovers that his father is a member and is admitted. After all the humiliating initiations required to join the Stonecutters, Homer finally completes and becomes a Stonecutter! Homer takes great pleasure in the society’s secret privileges, such as an underground byway bypassing Springfield’s traffic jams, drinking bouts and free roller blades (in order to get from the parking lot to his workplace faster).

During a celebratory dinner with his fellow Stonecutters commemorating the society’s 1500th anniversary, he unwittingly uses the society’s Hallowed Sacred Parchment as a napkin, which causes him to destroy it. He is stripped of his Stonecutter robes and is sentenced to walk home naked dragging the “stone of shame”. It is then discovered that Homer has a birthmark in the shape of the Stonecutter emblem, identifying him as the Chosen One who, it was foretold, would lead the Stonecutters to greatness.

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Homer is crowned the new leader of the Stonecutters. Initially enjoying himself, Homer soon feels isolated by his power when the other members treat him differently due to his new position, and asks Lisa for advice. She suggests that he ask the Stonecutters to do volunteer work to help the community. This angers the Stonecutters, who convene their World Council and consider killing Homer. Instead, Moe suggests they form a new society, the Ancient Mystic Society of No Homers. Homer is saddened when his club falls to pieces. However Marge tells Homer that he is a member of the best and exclusive club called the Simpsons family.

Awww, The End. And here is a special video from that episode which features the official Stonecutters song:

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11 thoughts on “TopiX History Files: Who are the Stonecutters?

  1. Hmm very confusing. You say “All Stonecutters are given a number, the higher the number you are the higher the status you have over the lower numbers.” Surely it’s opposite – and your example contradicts that! The lower numbers outrank higher numbers, assuming 14 is a lower number than 29? Don’t they teach maths at your school?!

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    • You definitely read that wrong, please check your facts before you 1) comment on a post and 2) criticise one of our brilliant writers. Heres a direct quote from what the post actually says:

      “All Stonecutters are given a number, the lower the number you are the higher the status you have over the higher numbers.”

      Although it is a bit of a wordy sentence, it clearly states that the lower number you are, the higher the status.

      Like

      • I definitely did not read it wrong, I copied and pasted my quote directly from the original post. The post has been changed since I commented, and someone there knows it.

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        • I have to offer my sincerest of apologies, I just took a look at the history of the post and the revisions made, it turns out that 4 minutes after your original comment, there was a revision by nathan. I was not aware of it and I hadn’t even read the post at all until after that revision. I am very sorry that I doubted you. Thanks for helping make our posts more credible and correct

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