The 4th of July is days away and like lincoln last year, another president has made his way to springfield
President George Washington comes with his own storyline for which you will need the following character to complete: George Washington, Lisa, Lincoln, Wiggum, Apu, Comic Book Guy and Skinner. Here is the complete walkthrough for “Declaration of Co-Dependence and as with any walkthrough, this is one long spoiler
Americas 1st president comes with his own quest and tasks
The tasks all pay at the normal premium rate and you will get the standard 25XP for unlocking him with “Ye Olde Cherry Tree” for 180 donuts
1h – Get Fitted For a New Pair of Dentures
1h – Buy Fireworks
4h – Write a Tell-All
6h – Reject Praise
8h – Plan an Invasion of Britain
12h – Try tp Cut Down a Cherry Tree
16h – Flee admirers
24h – Hunt for Jebediah Springfield
24h – Recruit an Army
Declaration of Co-Dependence Pt. 1
George Washington – “Previous to the execution of any official act of the President–“
George Washington – WHAT THE? WHERE DID PHILADELPHIA GO? WHAT LAND IS THIS AND WHY IS ‚”QUICKY MART,” SPELLED SO ATROCIOUSLY?
Lisa – Mr. George Washington – , you’ve been brought forward in time to the town of Springfield, in America.
Lisa – It seems to happen to ex-Presidents a lot.
George Washington – Forward in time? How old is America?
Lisa – Two hundred and forty-two years.
George Washington – You’re kidding me, right? That’s a joke? Because I told Jefferson I gave this country a decade. Tops.
George Washington – He was all: “Liberty is mankind’s natural state!” And I was “Yada yada yada… ten years, chump. Bank on it.”
George Washington – Still, it’s cool to be wrong! So, tell me about this town.
Lisa – Springfield is named after its founder, Jebediah Springfield.
Lisa – You would’ve known him as ‘Hans Sprungfeld’ in your time.
George Washington – SPRUNGFELD?! THAT GUY HAS A TOWN NAMED AFTER HIM? Oh, man. Where is he?
George Washington – He’s going to be picking wooden teeth out of his neck for a month.
Task: Make George Washington Hunt for Jebediah Springfield
George Washington – Okay, so Sprungfeld is dead. Everyone I know is dead. I get it. So now what?
Lisa – Professor Frink is trying to find a way to send you home. In the meantime…
Lisa – You might find you like it here. Our previous ex-President seems very happy.
Lincoln – You want to keep it down, please? I can barely hear myself split rails here, people.
George Washington – Sheesh. That guy was President?!
Lisa – Number sixteen.
George Washington – He’s so gangly-looking. Doesn’t really scream ‚”President,” you know?
George Washington – I guess people will elect anything.
Declaration of Co-Dependence Pt. 2
George Washington – You know why America has a bicameral legislature, right?
Lisa – Uh… because it’s a good way to keep power from consolidating in one body?
George Washington – Nope. Because when we were tossing around ideas for a new government– just brain jamming, you know — some idiot throws out the term ‚”bicameral legislature.”
George Washington – And everybody just latches onto it.
George Washington – You know that thing where everyone’s trying to sound hip and smart by using the hot new term? So annoying!
George Washington – Every time I heard the words, I couldn’t decide whether to fall asleep or kill myself.
George Washington – Just totally nuts. I voted for the thing just to shut everyone up.
Lisa – This is incredible! Our scholars need to know this stuff. You’ve got to commit your memories to paper.
George Washington – Seriously, if I told you all the dirt I’ve got on John Adams, you’d flip your powdered wig. Dude was MESSED UP.
Task: Make George Washington Write a Tell-All
Declaration of Co-Dependence Pt. 3
Lisa – I hope you’re not finding modern-day America too strange, Mr. Washington –
George Washington – Nah.
George Washington – It’ll always be America, so long as people continue to live free, toss their excrement in the streets, and hate the British.
Lisa – Actually England is our closest ally now.
George Washington – …
George Washington – You want to repeat that, little lady?
Lisa – Uh… we’ve had a lot of time to repair relations…
George Washington – I‚ “Repair relations‚” With a country that is way more powerful than us?
George Washington – AND wants nothing more than to make us her colony again?
Lisa – Well, first of all, our military is a lot bigger than theirs now.
George Washington – Then we should attack immediately, before they have time to raise conscripts!
George Washington – Unless, of course, you’d prefer to see musky-carrying redcoats on every street corner in the nation.
George Washington – Summon my war council!
Task: Make George Washington Plan an Invasion of Britain
Declaration of Co-Dependence Pt. 4
George Washington – Okay, if our ships leave Boston tomorrow, we can reach England in two months.
George Washington – We’ll rendezvous with Hessian mercenaries — little girl, remind me to write a letter to Hessia, get that ball rolling.
Lisa – Hessian mercenaries aren’t the military force they once were…
George Washington – We will then move inland and seize the royal saltpeter mines.
George Washington – I’d like to see King George try to fight a war without saltpeter. Heh-heh-heh…
George Washington – With a combined force of 20,000 we will easily subdue all of England.
George Washington – What do you think, Lisa – Simpson? An elegant plan, no?
Lisa – You really think 20,000 men armed with muskets will do any good against tanks and machine guns and missiles?
George Washington -If we have enough horses, yes.
George Washington – I also plan on doubling gin rations, to boost morale. A drunk army is an effective army.
George Washington - All we need now is the men!
Task: Make George Wahshington Recruit an Army
Declaration of Co-Dependence Pt. 5
George Washington – Okay, I’ve been traveling door-to-door all day, and so far I’ve got ZERO recruits for my Grand Army of the Brit-Hating Republic.
George Washington – What’s happened to the England-detesting nation of proud Limey-stranglers I love? Where’s our fighting spirit?
Lisa – Seriously. The English are our friends. Very nice people. Good music.
George Washington – And the most annoying thing?
George Washington – Everyone’s just falling all over themselves to thank me: “You’re the Father of Our Country!” ‚”Thank you, George George Washington !”
George Washington – If you love me so much, get in the boat and help me stick a cannon ball in Big Ben.
Chief Wiggum – George Washington Thank you for everything, sir.
Chief Wiggum – Thank you for your wisdom, and your strength, and for being everything a man can be. I mean EVERYTHING!
George Washington – Uh-huh. Look, that’s very nice, but I’m just a guy. Happy to be of service. No need to go crazy, pal.
Task: Make George Washington – Reject Praise
Declaration of Co-Dependence Pt. 6
Comic Book Guy – George Washington! It’s really him! The greatest real-life superhero of all!
Apu – Thanks for being the best Founding Father a country could ask for! We love you!
George Washington – Fine. That’s very fine. Thank you. Go away.
Lisa – They’re just trying to show their appreciation, sir.
George Washington – But they act like I’m some sort of saint. It’s seriously creepy.
George Washington – Did you know there are guys on the Supreme Court who think laws should be based on what me and my friends were thinking about more than two centuries ago?
George Washington – We didn’t have electricity. And trust me — most of the time when we were writing constitutions and laws, we were thinking about what to order for dinner.
George Washington – I’m just a guy. And I’m really happy that America worked out so well. That rocks. But again, just a guy.
Skinner – Excuse me, Mr.Washington . I’m like your biggest fan ever, and–
George Washington – I owned slaves. Did you know that? It stinks, but it’s true. So please leave me alone.
Skinner – Well, you must have had a very good reason.
George Washington – THERE IS NO GOOD REASON FOR OWNING SLAVES. Augh! You people are beyond weird!
Task: Make George Washington Flee Admirers