For those of you who are new to the game and/or to Topix, this articles contains all dialogues of the questlines. Over the course of 54 levels and a few dozen events, the writers of Tapped Out have gone all out to give us some pretty funny and entertaining story lines that some of you may have skipped by accident or want to read again. What follows is the complete walkthrough for the main questline of Act 1. Enjoy!
When you log into the game, the questline will start automatically, and Homer and Lisa will start the event up.
Meet My Trophy Life Pt. 1
Can you believe it, Dad? The World Cup is in full swing!
I know! It’s yachting’s biggest event!
No, that’s the AMERICA’S Cup. And it’s stupid. I’m talking about the–
So much drama! Which billionaire will rise to the challenge, and hire the best sailor to drive his catamaran?
I’ll be glued to the TV!
I’m talking about the Women’s World Cup of soccer!
Oh. That’s the sport where some dudes–
–women, in this case–
–kick a ball around until one of them fakes an injury the best and a winner is declared?
Let’s just watch the game.
Task: Make Lisa Watch Soccer
Task: Make Homer Watch Soccer
Location: Simpson Home
Meet My Trophy Life Pt. 2
Dad, wake up!
Why? Did somebody finally score a soccer goal?
Almost! …but then no.
Exciting stuff. This sport could really use some cheerleaders and hockey fights.
Soccer is the single most popular sport in the world! Bigger than motorcycle polo and bear baiting COMBINED.
Which confirms what I’ve always said: the world is an idiot.
It’s time for a new sport! A better sport!
Meet My Trophy Life Pt. 3
Have you ever longed for a sport that combines the thrill of selecting a team with the fun of waiting for a long time between matches?
Not at all.
Then say hello to Tap Ball!
Tap Ball takes the best parts of other sports — dribbling, the infield fly rule, an epidemic of concussions —
— and adds the excitement of watching people play second-rate video games!
That sounds confusing and terrible.
Best of all, the only equipment you need is a smartphone, thirteen balls of varying size, bats made of glass…
…some chalk to mark the many end zones, a quaffle, Kevlar body armor and a greedy, narcissistic owner to screw it all up!
The town library is crumbling, and you got a Tap Ball stadium built in no time at all.
It’s easy, when you sell the naming rights. Welcome to Duff Beer Krusty Burger Buzz Cola Costington’s Department Store Kwik-E-Mart Stupid Flanders Park!
Duff gets to be first because they gave us the most money.
People are gonna love it!
Task: Make Homer Pander to Sponsors
Location: Stadium Entrance
Meet My Trophy Life Pt. 4
So what are the rules of Tap Ball?
You ready for this? Because it’s gonna blow your mind. The only rule of Tap Ball is…
…more than sixty-seven rules. With attached sub-rules, notes, and clarifications.
Task: Make Homer Invent More Rules [x4]
Location: Stadium Entrance
Rule five: every player must keep both feet on the floor at all times. When running, a hand must also be on the floor.
Rule six: only the player with the ball may cry.
Rule seven: defense loses championships.
I think I get it.
I’m not done yet!
Dad, I have to admit. There’s a puncher’s chance this new sport of yours will catch on.
In that case, I’d like its first bona fide star to be a woman. Sign me up.
Great! You’ll play the critical position of center left forward back. Your job is to feed me alley-oops.
I thought you were the referee.
I’m both! And that’s how I’ll ensure I’m also the greatest Tap Ball player ever. It’s why Babe Ruth was a baseball umpire.
Baseball is the least important thing in the universe to me, but I’m fairly certain that’s not true.
My game, my rules!
Now the event officially starts, with Balls of Glory, you can start playing Tap Ball, the game Homer invented! The game will guide you through your first match and show you the event guides.
Balls of Glory Pt. 1
I need players for Tap Ball, America’s fastest-growing-sport (as measured by bench-clearing brawls).
Here’s the sign up sheet. See? It’s already got my name, Lisa’s name, and Flanders.
Well that doesn’t look like my hand writing, but I’m always willing to get physical with my favorite neighbour.
Sports is my only escape from my crushing family life. I’m in!
Amen to that brother!
We officially have enough players to play Tap Ball!
Hey fatso! Your team needs more jocks like me. I’m going to be a superstar Tap Ball player.
How many millions of dollars do those jerks make?
Zero! You play for free! Being part of Professional Tap Ball is its own reward!
After all, this is a sport that’s steeped in tradition, having been founded over three missions ago.
Wait a second. You got a ton of sponsorship money. Why can’t you use some of that to pay your players?
How about instead of money, I pay you with something much more valuable.
…er, what if, INSTEAD, I pay you in something else?
Something called…uh… “Amateur Bucks!” Redeemable everywhere that accepts pretend money!
Now we’re talking!
System Message: Football Nelson is now available in the store!
Balls of Glory Pt. 2
That was fun, but I’m more out of breath than an atheist attempting to disprove God’s existence.
Come on! We can play again! More games mean more money!
I’m tired, too. Just give us some time to rest.
You could rest, or you could drink one of our sponsor’s products in front of the camera!
Put those hard earned Amateur Bucks to use!
System Message: Your players need to rest between games. Unlock more Tap Ball players to play games more often.
Balls of Glory Pt. 3
Task: Win Tap Ball Game
After completing Balls of Glory Pt. 2, the main quest resumes, and fans appear to tap!
Meet My Trophy Life Pt. 5
Attendance at last night’s Tap Ball game was only 6 people.
While that’s superior to most MLB games, it is concerning.
Attention everyone! Tap Ball stadium is open, and everyone can watch for free!
Free? Mr. Simpson, as one of your sponsors, I do not see how that is a good idea.
Good sir, I assure you it’s all a scam. My motives toward our fans are purely evil.
Phew. So it’s like every other sport.
See Tap Ball is free to try, but then we lure people into buying foam fingers and hats and other useless overpriced stuff that costs real money.
So like every other sport, except that it’s free to try?
No, it’s completely differ– oh hey, you’re right. Man, this freemium model has been around forever.
Task: Tap Fans [x15]
After tapping fans, the next part starts and you’ll be able to upgrade your players and then daily training tasks appear. We’ll cover both in another post.
Meet My Trophy Life Pt. 6
Great game, everybody! I saw a lot of effort out there.
Except for you, Flanders! You stink. Don’t ask me why.
And your moustache also stinks. It played really lousy today.
Appreciate the constructive criticism, coachareeno! Maybe I can train a little more to get better.
System Message: Earn Amateur Bucks through practice jobs and Tap Ball games. Spend your earnings to upgrade your Tap Ball players.
System Message: Upgrading players allows you to face off against stronger opponents for better rewards.
System Message: Upgrading your Tap Ball players also helps your merchandising reach more fans, so don’t forget to keep training
Meet My Trophy Life Pt. 7
It’s hard being a team owner, manager and athlete at the same time.
How will I find time to improve the stadium, yell at my teammates, drink and nap?
Sounds like you need a schedule. You should plan your day, make a time table for yourself and others.
Schedules? Time tables? Numbers? These things shouldn’t exist in sports.
Balls of Glory Pt. 4
Tap Ball is fun, but how can you start a league with just one town?
We’ll start a rivalry with another Springfield. I still haven’t forgiven those guys for raiding our castles last summer.
To be fair, we raided them, too.
Well, to be unfair… let’s get ‘em!
Task: Play Tap Ball in Another Springfield
Balls of Glory Pt. 5
What a fun game, neighboreeno! Even when we lose, it’s a hum-dinger!
You are the LAST person I’d expect to be okay with losing, Flanders!
Your buddy the Lord never lost a fight in his life! That guy peeled himself off the carpet and came back swinging!
I’m not sure about your Biblical reading, there. “Turn the other cheek,” and all that. Plus the whole sacrificing himself thing…
He was the ultimate warrior! And I will follow his example!
Task: Rematch Another Springfield
Balls of Glory Pt. 6
Task: Win Tap Ball Games in Another Springfield [x10]
After completing Balls of Glory Pt. 4, a quest to visit other springfields start, and just like Clash of Clones did, you’re also able to visit random Springfields too! The second quest starts if a player of your team faces off the other town’s version of him/herself.
Task: Tap Fans in Another Springfield [x3]
Good glayvin! All this tapping of fans in alternate Springfields is making the space-time hoyvin go ker-flooey!
Shut up! What do nerds know about sports, anyway?
This goes far beyond sports! Your incessant tapping threatens the very fabric of reality!
Double shut up! What’s the fate of the universe measured against me getting a little attention for myself?
Attention IS awfully nice. As a lonely intellectual, I sometimes feel— Hey, where are you going?
Away from you, nerd!
Good glayvin! Our tap ball team just faced off against alternate versions of themselves!
But they were wearing red and black instead of blue and white, so they’re evil.
How does that make them evil?
There’s a history of such things in games.
It’s-a me, Waluigi! We’re-a gonna win!
Too late, Waluigi. The game’s over. Your team already went home.
Oh, that’s-a not a spicy meatball.
Okay, well… it was-a me, Waluigi. I’m-a gonna go.
After obtaining Single Bleachers in the Daily Training, a quest to craft Stadium improvements starts, that can be completed anytime till the evend of the event.
The Longest Grind Pt. 1
Aww. My stadium is full of happy families, cheering on their Tap Ball heroes.
And the only way a stadium makes top dollar these days is to have a million luxury boxes, and sell them to corporations!
I gotta price these lousy families outta here!
The Longest Grind Pt. 2
Task: Purchase Stadium Improvements [x8]
The Longest Grind Pt. 3
Task: Purchase Stadium Improvements [x15]
The Longest Grind Pt. 4
Task: Purchase Stadium Improvements [x20]
And finally, after completing Meet My Trophy Life Pt. 7, a similar quest appears, this time to upgrade players.
Train Sporting Pt. 1
Task: Upgrade Tap Ball Players [x10]
Train Sporting Pt. 2
Task: Upgrade Tap Ball Players [x15]
Train Sporting Pt. 3
Task: Upgrade Tap Ball Players [x25]
Train Sporting Pt. 4
Task: Upgrade Tap Ball Players [x40]
This is all for now, join us later for more on this event, happy tapping!