Burns’ Casino: Act 3 Prizes Kwik-Tap Guide

The last prizes of the event are here and two crazy characters, and one crazy costume for Burns, join us!

Nero’s Arch

After obtaining Nero’s Palace Arch
Auto starts

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Nero's Wall Message

Nero’s Palace

After obtaining Nero’s Palace
Auto starts

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The Bloviator Pt. 1

Smithers starts

Reclusive Mr. Burns: Smithers, I’m bored.
Reclusive Mr. Burns: I’ve done everything a billionaire can.
Reclusive Mr. Burns: Dated pop stars, bought politicians, endowed museums…
Smithers: Yes, your “Museum of Hatred of the Poor” has the lowest attendance of any in the country.
Smithers: You haven’t run for political office yet.
Reclusive Mr. Burns: And I won’t. I’m a billionaire, not a self-glorifying moronic egomaniac.
Smithers: Didn’t know there was a difference, sir.

Task: Make Burns Mope With Ennui
Time: 12h
Location: Burns’ Casino

The Bloviator Pt. 2

Mr. Burns starts

Reclusive Mr. Burns: I’ve figured it out, Smithers. The one billionaire thing I’ve never done.
Reclusive Mr. Burns: I’m going to become an eccentric recluse, like my young friend Howard Hughes.
Smithers: He died unloved and alone, sir.
Reclusive Mr. Burns: Well, I won’t make his mistake.
Reclusive Mr. Burns: I won’t die.

Task: Make Reclusive Mr. Burns Fade From the Public Eye
Task: Make Smithers Deny Requests for Access
Time: 24h
Location: Burns’ Casino

The Bloviator Pt. 3

Mr. Burns starts

Smithers: I’ve brought you the mail, sir.
Reclusive Mr. Burns: Did you clean it thoroughly? It might be infected with one of the four humors. Bile or something.
Smithers: I think you’re becoming a little obsessive.
Reclusive Mr. Burns: Nonsense. Now bring me a pink napkin.
Reclusive Mr. Burns: I need to cover my genitals while I sit naked, repeatedly watching the 1968 blockbuster “Ice Station Zebra.”
Reclusive Mr. Burns: Yep, Howard Hughes really did that.

Task: Make Smithers Do All the Work
Task: Make Mr. Burns Watch “Ice Station Zebra”
Time: 12h
Location: Burns’ Casino

The Bloviator Pt. 4

Mr. Burns starts

Smithers: Sir, you need to come out of this movie screening room. You have a casino and power plant to run.
Reclusive Mr. Burns: Sorry. Recluse.
Smithers: Can I at least take away some of these jars of urine?
Reclusive Mr. Burns: No! I just finished arranging them in a perfect pent-heptagon.
Reclusive Mr. Burns: You’re covered in germs, Smithers. I banish you from my presence.
Reclusive Mr. Burns: From now on, I want my chicken and milk delivered by drone.

Task: Make Reclusive Burns Sink Into Obscurity
Time: 4h
Location: Burns’ Casino

The Bloviator Pt. 5

Mr. Burns starts

Smithers: Mr. Burns, you can’t continue to live by yourself in a darkened penthouse on top of a casino hotel.
Smithers: They need the penthouse for Pitbull.
Reclusive Mr. Burns: That chrome-dome gallimaufry? He’s still a thing?
Reclusive Mr. Burns: Oh, very well. I’m starting to miss spending time with my fellow humans.
Reclusive Mr. Burns: Setting hounds on them… dropping them down trap doors…
Smithers: Yes, you’re what America needs more of: billionaires messing around with us.

Task: Make Reclusive Mr. Burns Feel Sunlight on His Face
Time: 8h

Chinese Acrobatic Theatre

After obtaining Chinese Acrobatic Theatre
Auto starts

Text only.

Heaven Won’t Wait Pt. 1

Gabbo and Arthur starts

Gabbo: Well, Crandall, another triumphant performance.
Arthur: Yes, Gabbo, it’s wonderful to see an audience touched by the transcendence of ventriloquism.
Arthur: We are, in reality, angels sent from Heaven, commanded by God to help troubled marriages.
Kirk: Darn it, Luann, why do you always make fun of my bald spot?
Gabbo: We have found our next project.

Task: Make Gabbo Plan an Intervention
Time: 8h
Location: Orange House
Task: Make Arthur Touch Base With Heaven
Time: 24h
Location: First Church of Springfield

Heaven Won’t Wait Pt. 2

Gabbo and Arthur starts

Gabbo: So let me get this straight, Crandall. We’re angels sent to save Kirk and Luann’s marriage.
Arthur: But God has disguised us as a ventriloquist and his dummy.
Gabbo: Not the easiest set up to work with.
Gabbo: “Hey, I’m a ventriloquist’s dummy. Let me solve your intimacy problems.”
Arthur: Look, we were throwing around ideas, I pitched “ventriloquist,” God said go with it.
Arthur: You have a problem with His Ineffable Word?
Gabbo: I have no problem with His Ineffable Word.

Task: Make Gabbo Mutter Angrily To Himself
Time: 4h
Location: Orange House

Heaven Won’t Wait Pt. 3

Gabbo and Arthur starts

Arthur: Pardon me, Mr. Van Houten. I know you’re angry with your wife.
Arthur: But I am an angel sent to bring you and Luann back together.
Arthur: I shall show you a vision of how sad your life would be if you’d never met her.
Kirk: That’ll totally work on me. But Luann…
Arthur: Don’t worry. My fellow angel Gabbo is plying his powers on Luann right now.
Gabbo: So, Luann, Kirk seems like an okay dude…
Luann: Aaahh!!! Help!!! This creepy little dummy is talking!!!
Luann: Where’s my taser? Where’s my taser?!

Task: Make Gabbo Get Tased
Time: 1h
Location: Orange House

Heaven Won’t Wait Pt. 4

Gabbo and Arthur starts

Arthur: I have succeeded in my mission as an angel, Gabbo. Kirk is once more smitten with his wife.
Arthur: I assume you’ve been equally successful with Luann.
Gabbo: No, Crandall, I haven’t.
Gabbo: In fact, Luann tased the hell out of me.
Arthur: But we’re supposed to move on to our next task! Dr. Hibbert is being handsy with his nurse.
Gabbo: Hey! I used to be an angel. Now, I’m a taser-charred lump of wood operated by a hand up my butt.
Gabbo: I don’t give a crap about Dr. Hibbert’s freakin’ nurse!

Task: Make Gabbo Rant
Time: 8h
Location: Orange House

Heaven Won’t Wait Pt. 5

Gabbo and Arthur starts

Arthur: Nice job, Gabbo. You had to go complaining about our assignment as angels.
Arthur: God’s omnipresent. He’s always eavesdropping. And he does not turn his other cheek to criticism.
Arthur: Now we’ve been demoted to angels that help cats stuck in trees.
Gabbo: Anything so we don’t have to deal with those idiot Van Houtens.
Arthur: No, that job’s been passed up to the top angel in the area.
Gabbo: Mr. Teeny? Well good luck to him.

Task: Make Gabbo Help Cats Stuck in Trees
Time: 24h
Location: Trees

High Roller Bonus

After obtaining all Act prizes

TSTO Casino High Roller Bonus 3
Task: Collect Blue Chips [x8500]
Reward: 1/2/3 Donuts

Join us next time for more info on this event, happy tapping!


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