Black Friday 2016 Walkthrough: The Purge… of High Prices! and Domo Arigato

Black Friday is back and Gil is ready to invade our town for it with his weird deals. Join us right after the jump for the walkthrough on his quest to sell us all his junk!
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The Purge… of High Prices! (Day1)

Auto starts on November 25th

Marge: What’s that rumbling? Homer, are you brewing your own booze again?
Homer: Not yet, but I soon will be because it’s Black Friday: the day people riot for meager savings. Even on home brewing kits.
Lisa: Oh, no! That means…

Gil starts indicator_blackfriday2016

Gil: Ol’ Gil’s back with more stuff than he can fit in his cardboard box slash house slash office slash fire hazard!
Lisa: How can you be a part of a capitalist practice that gets rowdy enough to have its own death count?
Gil: There’s very few deaths, just lots of light trampling. And if someone dies, I’m at their funeral, pocketing cheese cubes like there’s no tomorrow.

bf2016-gil-offer

Offer accepted
Gil: Thanks, crafty consumer! What better way to be thankful, than to have more THINGS to be thankful for! Materialism’s the best… I’ve heard.

Offer declined
Gil: Oh, it’s just like the old Black Fridays, when they’d lay me off before the paychecks were cut. They said I wasn’t worth the envelope.

The Purge… of High Prices! (Day2)

Gil starts indicator_blackfriday2016 on November 26th

Gil: Ol’ Gil’s here to fan the flames with riot-provoking prices on things he can’t afford!
Lisa: Black Friday exploits the desperation of the ninety-nine percent, making them scrap and fight for discounts of ten percent. Like everything, this is about injustice and math.
Gil: Not today. I’m offering bargain basement prices! I got the idea because I once lived in a basement. Whenever it flooded or the radiator boiled over, I got myself a free bath!

bf2016-gil-offer

Offer accepted:
Gil: No better way to stick it to those fat cats than having Gil join their social elite. Speaking of, my Thanksgiving dinner last year was a fat cat.
Gil: Tasted horrible.

Offer declined:
Gil: But if you don’t spend money, Big Business wins! More importantly, Gil loses!

The Purge… of High Prices! (Day3)

Gil starts indicator_blackfriday2016 on November 27th

Gil: It’s Black Friday and ol’ Gil is pulling out all the stops! Everything must go! Prices are being evicted just like I’ve been!
Marge: This sale has gotten out of hand. I don’t feel safe leaving my own home.
Gil: Then oh boy, has Gil got the solution for you: arms and armaments, priced as low as your kids’ allowance!

bf2016-gil-offer

Offer accepted:
Gil: Nothing says “keep off the grass” like a weapon of mass destruction!

Offer declined:
Gil: Don’t blame me the next time you incite an angry mob and have no way of fending them off.
Gil: That’s how I lost my bindle. And my kidney.

Domo Arigato

Auto starts on November 28th

Marge: Well, we survived another Black Friday unscathed.
Homer: I got a little scathed.
Lisa: Uh… aren’t you guys forgetting something?

Gil starts indicator_cybermonday2016

Gil: It’s Cyber Monday! Because the one thing Black Friday needed was more of it!
Marge: Haven’t you done enough? This rampant consumerism has alienated us from all our friends. Or in my case, acquaintances.
Gil: Who needs friends, when ol’ Gil is selling the Friend two-point-oh! He’s a companion, butler and paperweight, all rolled into one.

cyber-monday-2016-gil-offer

Offer accepted:
Gil: You won’t be sorry. When the robot apocalypse comes, you’ll have a man on the inside!

Offer declined:
Gil: Fine, who needs you! Gil will keep this little buddy for himself. You an’ me will be inseparable, ol’ chum.
C.H.U.M.: I’m not supposed to be here. Please reconsider. And shower.


Join us next time for more info on this event, happy tapping!

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