Winter 2016: Act 2 Walkthrough Part 2

Will Pagans or Christians win? Find out right after the jump in the second part of the walkthrough of Act 2 of the Winter 2016 event.
tsto-winter-2016-splash-screen

The quest will pause till December 21st, when No Pain, No Pagain will start, to conclude the event.


No Pain, No Pagain Pt. 1

Auto starts

Homer: Oh, great Satyr! We have performed all your chores. Now we ask you to reveal the esoteric wisdom of Paganism!
Satyr Willie: Oh, uh… okay, here goes. Followers, the gods demand a service of you!
Moe: Yes, yes?
Satyr Willie: You all must, uh… act normal! Just, you know, do your thing! Walk around town for a while!
Homer: Wait, what?
Satyr Willie: Yeah, they want us all to do normal-type stuff until I can think of something else. THE GODS COMMAND IT!
Homer: Well, uh, okay…

Task: Make the Pagan Followers Do Normal Things [x5]
Time: 4h
Location: Brown House
Task: Make Satyr Willie Run Naked In the Halls
Time: 4h
Location: Springfield Elementary

Skinner: WILLIE!! Why are you running through my hallways naked?
Satyr Willie: Get lost ye suit wearing softie! I do this every weekend.
Reward: 25 Event Currency 10 XP

No Pain, No Pagain Pt. 2

Auto starts

Satyr Willie: My faithful Pagans! Now the gods command that we feast!
Moe: Are you sure you ain’t just making this up as you go? What’s the occasion?
Satyr Willie: Uh, the Feast of… the Advent of… the Legitimate Pagan Holiday!
Homer: Hmm, shaky. But if I’m going to be distracted with anything, might as well be food!

Task: Make the Pagans Binge on Food [x8]
Time: 8h
Location: Willie’s Shack

Homer: We just ate squirrel, didn’t we?
Satyr Willie: Would you believe small, hairy, four-legged, bushy-tailed chickens?
Homer: Maybe. I’d have to try one more to be sure.
Reward: 25 Event Currency 10 XP

No Pain, No Pagain Pt. 3

Auto starts

Moe: Well, that was the most horrible thing I’ve ever eaten. And coming from me, that means something.
Homer: So is that all Paganism is? Chores and broiled rodent? I’m starting to miss Christmas.
Satyr Willie: Not so fast! Now the best part of Paganism, the gift exchange!

Task: Make the Pagans Exchange Gifts [x5]
Time: 8h
Location: Willie’s Shack

Satyr Willie: So how do ye like yer gifts?
Moe: Well, I wanted a Roomba. But I suppose a crude doll made of bones isn’t too sucky.
Homer: I’d give anything for an awesome doll. All I got was a spell to silence my enemies.
Ned: …
Homer: Pretty cool, I guess. Still woulda liked a doll.
Reward: 25 Event Currency 10 XP

No Pain, No Pagain Pt. 4

Auto starts

Rev. Lovejoy: Well, well, well. Why so down, “Pagans?” A tad underwhelmed by your holiday gift haul?
Rev. Lovejoy: Us Christians are simply drowning in gifts right now. DROWNING.
Rev. Lovejoy: But I won’t gloat. All I want to do is tell you a little story.
Rev. Lovejoy: The REAL story of Christmas!

Task: Make Rev. Lovejoy Preach the Real Story of Christmas
Time: 12h
Location: First Church of Springfield

Rev. Lovejoy: And the Angel said: “Fear not, for behold, I bring you good news that will be a great joy to all the people.”
Rev. Lovejoy: And then he explained the importance of giving lavish gifts at Christmastime.
Rev. Lovejoy: Yea, even unto the point of running up a hefty credit card bill. We can worry about that stuff in January, he said.
Ned: That’s stretching scripture a wee bit, don’t you think?
Rev. Lovejoy: Desperate times, Ned. Just need to get butts back in pews. We’ll straighten ‘em out later.
Moe: I like Churchy’s story way better than Goat Man’s! Who’s with me?
Reward: 25 Event Currency 10 XP

No Pain, No Pagain Pt. 5

Auto starts

Bart: Springfielders! It’s me, Jesus!
Homer: Wow. THE Jebus?
Bart: I command you to celebrate Christmas! There’s a new video game console out. Very nice! Pick one up or die!
Rev. Lovejoy: Cool it, Bart. I’ve already hooked these fish. You’ll let them wriggle off!
Bart: I’m not here for you, Rev. I want that console!
Rev. Lovejoy: Fine. If your folks don’t get it for you, the church will. Now beat it!
Bart: Okay. Later losers! Jesus is Audi 5000!

Task: Make the Springfielders Embrace Commercialism Again [x10]
Time: 8h
Location: Kwik-E-Mart

Milhouse: Wow! I really didn’t think we could pull that off.
God: Bart, that was blasphemous. You are not my son…
Bart: You sound just like Homer…
Bart: Don’t worry big man, I’ll never do it again. That beard is really itchy.
Milhouse: I’m glad they fell for it though. Now we’ll get some decent Christmas presents instead of this Pagan crap.
Bart: You’re right, now let’s see what we got!
Milhouse: Aww, I got the red part of a candy cane…
Reward: 25 Event Currency 10 XP


Join us next time for more info on this event, happy tapping!

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