Jebediah Springfield: Hm. I don’t know where I am but it sure smells familiar.
Martin: Wow! What an honor to meet our fair city’s namesake!
Jebediah Springfield: Ah, so this is my beloved Springfield! So much has changed, yet so much is the same. I see the Wagon Wheel Fire is still going.
Homer: Oh, it’s actually a Tire Fire now. That’s what gives the sunset such a beautiful glow and why we’re all lightheaded all the time.
Jebediah Springfield: Wow, rubber tires?! Such advances you’ve made! Well, thanks for keeping the place in order. I suppose I’ll take my rightful place as mayor now.
Quimby: Er, uh, hold on a second there, hoss. We already have a mayor, and I was elected by the citizens of this town… some of them still living.
Jebediah Springfield: Then… what am I to do? Surely you won’t turn me out onto the street! That’d be like abandoning a soldier after he returns from war!
Task: Make Jebediah Springfield Sleep Behind the Kwik-E-Mart
Small World Problems Pt. 2
Jebediah Springfield: Is this my life now? That of a destitute beggar?
Jebediah Springfield: I wish I’d never been born and founded this town and named it after myself!
Martin: It pains my ears to hear an idol of mine speak with such glower. Especially one who is known for his silver tongue!
Jebediah Springfield: You’re right, chubby little boy! That tongue will be my salvation.
Martin: How heroic! You’ll win your fortune using only your skills of oration!
Jebediah Springfield: No, I meant it literally.
Task: Make Jebediah Springfield Sell His Silver Tongue
Jebediah Springfield: This new rubber tongue made out of recycled Tire Fire tires is actually a lot better than that old silver one.
Jebediah Springfield: I don’t lisp anymore when I say phrases like “The silver in my old tongue was slowly poisoning me.”
Small World Problems Pt. 3
Jebediah Springfield: Now that I’ve got some walking around money, I think I’ll do some walking around.
Jebediah Springfield: Springfield Tire Fire… Springfield Retirement Castle… Springfield Box Factory… Springfield Spring & Field… my name’s all over this town.
Martin: Now you know the pride our citizenry feels each and every day!
Jebediah Springfield: I don’t feel pride — I feel ripped off! They’re using my name and likeness on every sign!
Jebediah Springfield: I’m going to use my precious tongue money to hire a lawyer and sue this craphole town. It’s my name and I want a taste of the action!
Task: Make Jebediah Springfield Sue Springfield for Copyright Infringement
Location: Court House, Town Hall or Brown House
Blue Haired Lawyer: I’ve never seen a client purposely be held in contempt of court so he had a place to sleep at night, but you won the case!
Blue Haired Lawyer: You now get royalties whenever your name or image is used.
Small World Problems Pt. 4
Jebediah Springfield: Jebediah Springfield: Now to collect what’s coming to me.
Martin: Will you be reinvesting your money in the community?
Jebediah Springfield: Ha! Don’t make me laugh!
Jebediah Springfield: Seriously, don’t make me laugh. I’m 250 years old and my lungs are very brittle. I shouldn’t even be walking right now.
Task: Make Jebediah Springfield Collect His Likeness Royalties
Location: Town Hall or Brown House
Jebediah Springfield: What the?! I OWE people money!
Jebediah Springfield: The Springfield Police Department is in the red, Springfield Elementary has debts all over town…
Jebediah Springfield: And the Springfield Shopper Building is just made of stacked up old newspapers!
Jebediah Springfield: Curse the name Springfield! I should’ve stuck with the name Hans Sprungfeld!
Join us next time for more info on this update, happy tapping!