Jacques: Marge, my dear! How many lifetimes has it been since we were together?
Jacques: Please allow me to take you to brunch. I don’t mean to brag, but I have my own table at the Waffle Hut.
Marge: I’ll go, but just as friends. I’m still happily married. Well, married.
Task: Make Jacques Meet Marge for Brunch
Jacques: I must confess, there is a thirst in me that not even these bottomless mimosas can quench.
Jacques: I need you, Marge! As the pins yearn for the bowling ball, or the damp fingers yearn for that little fan.
Marge: I’m sorry, Jacques, I’m not interested. But I may know someone who is.
La Proposale Pt. 2
Jacques: Ah, you must be Selma! Marge was right – you do look a bit like her if I squint.
Selma: That accent, and that backhanded compliment – so French! I’m intrigued.
Jacques: Selma, do you enjoy the theatre?
Selma: I dunno… if I want sticky floors and the smell of stale butter I can just go home.
Task: Make Jacques Take Selma to See French Theatre
Location: Springfield Library
Selma: Jacques, I had a great time tonight, even if I couldn’t understand what was going on.
Jacques: It was a French film, my sweet. No one understood what was going on.
Selma: The night is young, just like me according to my driver’s license. Shall we go back to your place?
La Proposale Pt. 3
Jacques: Selma I am madly in love with you, but there’s just one thing I require…
Selma: I knew it was too good to be true. What do you need? An alibi? A loan? A kidney? An alibi for where you got that loaned kidney?
Jacques: No… marriage!
Task: Make Jacques Propose to Selma
Location: Fiesta Terrace
Jacques: Selma, would you marry… Hans Moleman?
Selma: I do… not understand what’s going on.
Jacques: I need the excitement of dating a married woman. My love must be like my entry to the women’s locker room: forbidden!
Selma: But I am a married woman. I’ve been married five times in fact.
Selma: Why don’t I just put one of those rings back on and complain non-stop about my exes?
La Proposale Pt. 4
Jacques: Please Selma, I only want what I cannot have. You must be like the moon to me, or an affordable haircut that looks good right away.
Selma: How do I know it won’t fall apart like my other marriages?
Jacques: What ruined those marriages?
Selma: Let’s see… publicity stunt, attempted murder, old age, disco fever, and undisclosed.
Jacques: Those were all flawed because they were built on foundations of love. But this will be built on… my weird sexual hang-ups!
If the user has Hans Moleman: Task: Make Selma Flirt With Moleman
Requires: Hans Moleman
Task: Make Jacques Practice His Tango
La Proposale Pt. 5
Marge: Hi Selma! How are things with Jacques?
Selma: He’s asking me to marry, just not to him.
Selma: Now I’m worried I’ll end up with a marriageless love and a loveless marriage.
Marge: If I’ve learned one thing from Jacques, it’s how to pick up a seven ten split. But if I’ve learned two things, it’s that he’ll take advantage of you.
Selma: You’re right – I should end it now. Grr, love was so much easier when my fiancée just wanted me dead.
Task: Make Selma Break Up With Jacques
Location: Fiesta Terrace
Jacques: But Selma, I need you! And not just to help me finish these home fries.
Selma: I’m sorry. I care for you, but I can’t stoop so low as to marry someone like Hans Moleman.
Hans Moleman: I still don’t understand why you had to bring me along.
Jacques: Well Selma, if you ever do find Mr. Right, then please cheat on him with me.
Quest reward: 200 money 20 XP
Join us next time for more info on this update, happy tapping!