Time Traveling Toaster: Act 3 Prizes Walkthrough Part 2

A sexy pirate is the final prize of the event, ready with his ship! Join us right after the jump for his walkthrough!


Muscularly Endowed Privateer Pt. 1

Sexy Pirate starts

Sexy Pirate: Hoist up the mainsail, me mateys, because thar… she… blows.
Luann: You have some nerve– oh! I didn’t see you there. Hello, captain. Did you just sail into port?
Sexy Pirate: Aye, miss. And I be on the lookout for plunder and pillage. Of the late-thirties female variety.
Luann: But I’m married. Although to a pirate significantly less… SEXY… than yourself.
Sexy Pirate: Aye. I have a way of shivering the female timbers.

Task: Make Sexy Pirate Seduce Luann
Time: 4h
Location: Van Houten House
If the user has Luann: Task: Make Luann Succumb to Flattery
Time: 4h
Location: Van Houten House

Luann: Have you killed many men in battle, you sexy, dangerous man?
Sexy Pirate: Aye. I have killed the sexiest number of men — nine.

Muscularly Endowed Privateer Pt. 2

Sexy Pirate starts

Sexy Pirate: Hoist up the mainsail, me mateys, because thar… she… blows.
Marge: I bet you use that lame pick-up line on women all the time.
Sexy Pirate: Yes. I lack imagination, due to my overall low intelligence. But I make up for it with incredible sexiness.
Marge: Well, I’m sorry to disappoint you, but I am happily married to an even sexier pirate: Mr. Homer J. Simpson.
Sexy Pirate: He must be very sexy indeed. Which is exactly why I MUST steal his woman!

Task: Make Sexy Pirate Try to Seduce Marge
Time: 8h
Requires: Marge

Homer: Get away from my wife before I rip out your seductive heart and cram it down your arousing throat!
Sexy Pirate: Sexily, I comply.

Muscularly Endowed Privateer Pt. 3

Homer starts

Homer: Why don’t you go back to the sea, you titillating jerk?
Sexy Pirate: I… I cannot. I hang my luscious head in shame.
Homer: Why can’t you go to sea? You’re a sexy PIRATE, right?
Sexy Pirate: Sexy, I am. But a pirate? No. I was born, you see, in a Florida theme park.
Sexy Pirate: Raised from ravishing birth, I was, to play the role of Sexy Pirate, a character from a beloved movie franchise.
Sexy Pirate: At the age of two, I could apply eye liner to my perfect face. I could tie a scarf at three. But I never learned the ways of the sea.

Task: Make Sexy Pirate Hang His Head in Shame
Time: 4h
Location: Brown House

Sexy Pirate: I am a fraud! A disgusting, chiseled, irresistible, sensual fraud!

Muscularly Endowed Privateer Pt. 4

Sexy Pirate starts

Sexy Pirate: I am tired of living a super hot lie.
Homer: You poor, gorgeous man. Get it all out.
Sexy Pirate: Tired of sculpting my flawless physique in the gym. Tired of yearning to make love to my own reflection.
Sexy Pirate: But most of all, I am tired of being able to take any woman I want, at any time. In any way. Anywhere.
Homer: You don’t have to be sexy anymore.
Sexy Pirate: It is true? Can I truly stop lying, and happily grow as disgusting as you?

Task: Make Sexy Pirate Let It All Hang Out
Time: 1h

Sexy Pirate: Ahhh… after a lifetime, I finally know what carbs taste like. One percent body fat, and rising!

Muscularly Endowed Privateer Pt. 5

Homer starts

Helen Lovejoy: Homer Simpson! You’ve ruined our sexy pirate!
Homer: Ruined? Why, I’ve merely shown him a world of sloth and obesity, a heaven all men are entitled to.
Sexy Pirate: No, Homer. Alas, the desperate housewife is correct. A lazy slob, I cannot be.
Sexy Pirate: Sexy pirates are put on this earth to tantalize. Without us, the lives of women everywhere are meaningless.
Sexy Pirate: I see that now. I thank you, Homer, for the brief glimpse of paradise you have given me.
Sexy Pirate: Now, to sexiness I return. Avast, ye middle aged ladies. Objectify me!

Task: Make Sexy Pirate Embrace His Inner Stereotype
Time: 4h
Location: Brown House

Sexy Pirate: I will never forget the taste of donuts. But my place is in the weight room!
Quest reward: $200 and 20 XP

Join us right next time for more info on this event, happy tapping!

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