This Thanksgiving’s Gone to the Birds Pt. 3
Programmer Lisa: Quinn, I think I need to switch up my tactics. But it feels like something is holding me back.
Quinn Hopper: It’s your conscience, kid. App development is a dog-eat-dog world.
Programmer Lisa: As a vegetarian I prefer to call it a tempeh-eat-tempeh world.
Programmer Lisa: But you’re right. Gamification was only a half-measure. I need to hack the planet!… Now that’s the cool line I was looking for!
Quinn Hopper: Hacking, webmasters, firewalls – I love all the great words we made up to describe typing really fast for a long period of time.
This Thanksgiving’s Gone to the Birds Pt. 4
Apu: Come check out our new all-meat aisle! We have every cut of meat from head to tail… as well as extra heads and tails.
Apu: Hurry in, we’re not slashing prices, but we are slashing Best By, Sell By, and Use By dates!
Programmer Lisa: Why is the town suddenly flooded with meat products?
Homer: Mmm, meat flood. It’s the feud between those two silly phone games – it’s making everyone hungry.
Programmer Lisa: Maybe I bit off more than I can chew. It’s time to call in backup. A name that strikes fear into the hearts of meat lovers, and people who don’t like to be bothered on the sidewalk.
Programmer Lisa: That was useless. They just preached to me over the phone for four hours and then sent me a complimentary can of fur protest red paint.
Programmer Lisa: Plus a copy of their straight-to-DVD movie “Never Meat Me In St. Louis”.
Kent Brockman: We interrupt this little girl’s tantrum to bring you breaking news: the app Tofun may be selling your user data.
Kent Brockman: To whom? Russia? We don’t know, but this reporter is brave enough to guess wildly. So Russia it is!
Kent Brockman: This segment was brought to you by the renovated Slaughterhouse Restaurant. Now with new and improved blood gutters, and a permanent on-site paramedic!
Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP
This Thanksgiving’s Gone to the Birds Pt. 5
Programmer Lisa: Somehow, whatever I do, the Meat Council’s always one step ahead of me.
Quinn Hopper: Check your source code, sweetie. I think you might have a bug. Or maybe even a rat.
Quinn Hopper: That’s why the hacker life can be a lonely one. Imagine having no friends, your only pals are inanimate objects.
Programmer Lisa: Yeah, I can hardly imagine…
Task: Make Programmer Lisa Inspect Source Code
Task: Make Gluttons Take the Sir Loin-A-Lot Challenge [x3]
Location: Slaughterhouse Restaurant
Task: Earn Activist Badges [x325]
On job start:
Programmer Lisa: What?! I connected Tofun to P.E.T.A.’s alt-veggie database, but these logs suggest they’ve been sending my data straight to the Meat Council!
Quinn Hopper: An organization that promotes veganism sending user data to a multinational meat conglomerate? A tale as old as time.
On job end:
Programmer Lisa: So my best efforts to help the world just ended up making everything worse?
Homer: Hey, look on the bright side.
Programmer Lisa: Which is?
Homer: I’m sorry, is there more to that expression?
Homer: I wish I could help, sweetie, but I’ve got reservations at the Slaughterhouse Restaurant. I hear they provide fresh towels for your meat sweats.
System Message: You’ve been awarded Homer and Bart’s “You Don’t Win Friends With Salad” animated job!
Quest reward: $200 and 20 XP
Join us next time for more info on this event, happy tapping!