The Buck Stops Here: Prizes Walkthrough

Birch Barlow and the other prizes are here to fill your town! Join us right after the jump for the The Buck Stops Here prizes walkthrough!


Info Bores Pt. 1

Birch Barlow starts

Birch Barlow: I can’t believe my radio show was canceled just because I said we should nuke Tax-achusetts and dump the ashes in Holly-good-riddance, Cali-won’t-mourn-ia.
Birch Barlow: Those Politically Corr-wrecked Dumb-ocrats are so thin-skinned!
Declan Desmond: Your unfiltered, tortured-wordplay-ridden ramblings are just what I’m looking for to start my radio production company!
Birch Barlow: Whoa, there. I’m not about to bow down to some tea-bagging British sponsors.
Declan Desmond: I’m talking about satellite radio — no advertisers, no censorship!
Birch Barlow: You mean I’d be able to say whatever I want? You won’t sic the PC Police on me?
Declan Desmond: No! I want your unfettered madness infecting our listeners. Nothing gets more subscribers than an extremist! How do you think Bob Ross got so popular?
Birch Barlow: You have a deal.

Task: Make Birch Barlow Prepare for Radio Show
Time: 4h
Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP

Info Bores Pt. 2

Birch Barlow starts

Birch Barlow: Good morning, freedom-likers. Birch Barlow, the fourth branch of government the fifty-first state, is back on the air.
Birch Barlow: Today we are going to cover the proceedings on Bill HB-0101, a measure that would make False Flag burning illegal.
Birch Barlow: But first, I know what you’re thinking: “Birch, how is it that Spend-o-Crats keep spending”? And that’s something that I’d like to know, too.
Birch Barlow: We keep getting duped by a party who cannot align on which areas they are corrupt in spending? Call now, and let’s talk.

Task: Make Birch Barlow Take Callers
Time: 4h
Location: Capital City Plaza Hotel

On job start:
Snake: Hey, Birch, longtime listener, first time use-my-one-phone-call-er. My question for you is, how many times are these Fib-erals going to–
Birch Barlow: “Fib-erals”?! What the hell does that mean? You’re talking jibberish; you aren’t making any sense.
Birch Barlow: Sounds to me like maybe you’re a guest at the Greybar Hotel because you’re another one of those Liberal Lefties who packed his peace-pipe full of Wacky-Tobacky! Next caller!

Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP

Info Bores Pt. 3

Birch Barlow starts

Birch Barlow: Good morning again, freedom-lovers. Let’s go ahead and jump right into it. The Capital City politicians are corrupt.
Birch Barlow: I’m here on the inside, watching the way they work, like the little toy scuba diver in the fishbowl, surrounded by vicious clownfish. First caller!
Moe: Uh, yeah, it sounds like there’s a lot of colludin’ going on behind our backs, under our noses, and in those hard-to-reach places I can never get to with floss.
Moe: Is it safe to say that the Democrats have been lying to us this whole time? Did the moon landing not happen? Are they sulfur people from hell?
Birch Barlow: *chuckles* My friend, you have a wild imagination…but you are absolutely right! We are dealing with SULFUR PEOPLE!

Task: Make Birch Barlow Spin Conspiracy Theories
Time: 6h
Location: Capital City Plaza Hotel
Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP

Info Bores Pt. 4

Birch Barlow starts

Birch Barlow: Good morning, Americans. Today, I must announce to you that we are at war.
Birch Barlow: The Dumb-ocrats are at it again. They think my show perpetuates “LIES” and incites “VIOLENCE”. Well, you know what I think? If it’s American to LIE to get your point across, then call me Bend-the-Truth Franklin!
Birch Barlow: They set their demo-dog Mayor Joe Quimby on me. He’s attempting to organize a boycott. Well the only thing my listeners boycott…are FACTS!

Task: Make Birch Barlow Spin Lies Against Quimby
Time: 4h
Location: Capital City Plaza Hotel
Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP

Info Bores Pt. 5

Birch Barlow starts

Birch Barlow: Whew. All this hateful rhetoric is really starting to take a toll on my health. *eats donuts* I don’t think I can keep this up much longer, I’m running out of faux outrage.
Declan Desmond: Birchy, baby! There’s my little Republican-do. Your ratings are through the roof, and you have the most callers of any show I’ve ever produced.
Declan Desmond: I want you to keep on spouting your Conserva-nonsense until you’re red in the face. Well, REDDER in the face. How about signing a long-term contract?
Birch Barlow: I get to keep manufacturing rage while you pay me top dollar?
Declan Desmond: Mm-hmm.
Birch Barlow: You’ve got yourself a deal. It’s a pleasure doing business with you.
Birch Barlow: Now get out of here, you job-stealing foreigner!

Task: Make Birch Barlow Go Haywire
Time: 8h
Quest reward: $200 and 20 XP


Sweet Sin-Sation

Auto starts

Homer: Oh no! The hotel where Mindy and I stayed is back! I don’t know if I’ll be able to resist temptation again!
Mindy: I know, Homer, it’s going to be tough for us to stay apart–
Homer: I wasn’t talking about you! I meant the temptation of the hotel mini-bar: tiny liquors, king size chocolates, tiny chocolates filled with liquor…
Quimby: Er, ah, did someone say “hotel” “with” “expensive” “taste” “filled with” “temptation” and “vending machines”?
Homer: How long were you standing there? And why do the words “vending machines” excite you?
Quimby: Trust me, you don’t want to know!

Task: Make Quimby Enjoy the Presidential Suite
Time: 1h
Location: Capital City Plaza Hotel
Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP


A Convention’s Convention

Auto starts

Lisa: Ooh, the Capital City Convention Center! A Mensa convention would fill this place to 2% capacity, which is equal to the percentage of the population smart enough to join!
Dr. Nick: I could book a medical convention to get free samples so I can stop using the same scalpel over and over…
Homer: The Gummi convention could come back…
Comic Book Guy: I could book Bi-Mon-Sci-Fi-Con! I’ve got a He-Man cosplay I’ve been wanting to wear!
Lisa: …
Homer: …
Dr. Nick: …
Quimby: As a government official, I can’t stop your right to express yourself by wearing a loin cloth in public as a grown man under the guise of liking an old children’s cartoon.
Quimby: But I can do what the government does best: impede your grossness with endless red tape!

Task: Make Springfielders Go Through Red Tape [x5]
Time: 4h
Location: Capital City Convention Center
Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP


Broken Record

Auto starts

Lisa: YES! The Hall of Records is finally back in town.
Lisa: No more using Wikipedia, the Wiki-Dewey Decimal System, or Wiki-Shushing people online!
Martin: Yes! As a fellow historian, I too have longed for the return of our beloved Hall of–
Lisa: SHHH!!!
Lisa: Man, I’ve missed that.

Task: Make Lisa Shush People at Hall of Records
Time: 3h
Location: Springfield Hall Of Records
Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP

Join us next time for more info on this event, happy tapping!

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